Cultivating Deeper Relationships with Friends this Spring
It should come as no surprise to us that having close, loving relationships with our partner, friends and family adds value to our lives. Many of us are craving deeper, richer relationships with those loved ones, and others are looking to ignite new friendships. Let’s look at some intentional ways to cultivate deeper relationships with our friends and loved ones this spring.
Relationships have a superpower. They help us lead healthy, thriving lives. We feel lighter when laughing with friends, connected when conversing over steaming cups of coffee or tea, and at peace when we walk into a room of welcoming loved ones.
Quality relationships add more than positive feelings to our lives. They provide a sense of belonging, help us discover and affirm our own identity, provide a sense of security, encourage personal growth, and offer pillars of support when we are navigating tough seasons.
On top of that, deep and rich relationships can lower risks for depression, anxiety and even high blood pressure. They help us heal mentally, emotionally and even physically!
What do healthy relationships look like?
While each relationship looks different and feels different from the outside looking in, positive and healthy relationships have several commonalities.
In quality relationships the two partners communicate openly and honestly, listen deeply and respond without judgment. They consistently and equally make time for each other and they encourage healthy and positive behaviors in each other.
In addition, people in healthy relationships:
Cheer each other on towards goals in life
Focus on making the relationship beneficial for both people
Avoid finding their identity and self-worth solely in the relationship
Are comfortable being honest and open
Communicate through disagreements
Give to the other person as much as they take
These are just a small sampling of some of the commonalities great friendships and relationships have.
What do relationships need in order to thrive?
But what are the precursors to the actions listed above? What do relationships need in order to live out these things every day?
Relationships have power, but they need to be fueled with vulnerability, intention, clear expectations and connection. Let’s look at each.
Vulnerability
Vulnerability is a tough, but valuable offering to a friend. It takes a large amount of courage and bravery to reveal your authentic self. Being vulnerable shows the other person that you want to be real and genuine in this relationship and shows them that you have no intention of hurting or rejecting them. Your vulnerability encourages them to feel safe, secure and equally vulnerable with you.
Intention
Great friendships and relationships don’t just happen - they take intentionality on behalf of both individuals. Each party in the relationship must approach the other with intention, or, having a clear goal of investing equally into sustaining and deepening the friendship.
Clear Expectations
Strong relationships are built on clearly communicated expectations. How do you feel valued, seen, loved and heard? What makes you not feel those things?
Understanding these things and communicating them effectively is key to setting clear expectations - or, what you need to receive from and give to the other person. Setting expectations can be difficult, as it requires an equal amount of consistent self-awareness and listening to the other person’s needs. But, it’s a powerful practice.
Connection
Friendship deepens when we are interacting with the other person. Without connection, a relationship will eventually perish. As friends, we must set firm, clear and consistent times for connection. Knowing when and how you will connect with the other person provides a sense of stability and security a relationship requires.
3 simple ways to cultivate richer, deeper relationships
Relationships need vulnerability, intention, clear expectations, and consistent connection to thrive. How do we go about living those things out in our relationships? Here are three simple but effective ways to begin practicing those behaviors to cultivate deeper, richer relationships this year.
Reflecting on your own expectations
You must first understand your own expectations - or, what you’ve been craving to receive from and give another person in a relationship - and begin to re-evaluate them.
Here are a few questions to help guide you in this process. Feel free to meditate on them, journal them out, or even discuss them openly with a friend or partner.
How do you define friendship?
How do you show up as a friend naturally?
How do you find yourself showing up as a friend in your current relationships?
What do you expect friends to do or not do? Are these expectations fair and realistic? Should you raise your expectations?
What do you crave from friendships in this season? What do you crave to give?
What does your capacity to give to a friendship look like in this season? Do you want to expand this? How will you go about doing so?
Map out your own intentions
Next, you should set new intentions, or goals for how you want to pursue deeper relationships in this season. Again, here are a few great questions to consider as you explore new intentions:
What friends or friend will you pursue intentionally this year?
How do you intend to make them feel valued, seen and loved?
What expectations or needs will you express?
Reach out and set a date!
Expectations and intentions are great, but without action they remain expectations and intentions. Your next step is to reach out to a friend or family member and get something on the calendar.
To set a date, you need to establish a clear date, time and setting and create a clear purpose. Are you just hanging out? Will you be having brunch or dinner? Will your kids, partners or other friends be present? A great tip as you pursue deeper relationships from here - always plan your next date before you part ways!